I tell computers what to do – so you don’t have to. I also write and perform poetry anywhere I can make people stand still long enough to listen. The two activities are similar although I’ve never heard of a rich poet or a poor computer programmer.
More lies will appear later.
Stalkers wishing to steal my identity might also wish to catch up with me on:
http://twitter.com/punctuation
(p.s. my liver is probably irreversibly inedible by now and no amount of Chianti and Flava beans will make it palatable)
Filth, lies, truth and blame 
I did that for a bit.
They didn’t listen, so I gave up.
In retrospect, I now realise I should have left it to you.
It’s best that way – I have ninja techniques and an amulet that protects me from their evil spells. 🙂
Cooool.
…..
Computers always hate me. I can tell. Something lippy about the way the keyboard sits, looking at me. Something about the way the processor fans sound like nostrils flaring with contempt. Screens degauss when I’m doing something important. Hard-drives defrag. That sort of thing.
But I found a way to get their respect. I strap a machine-oil-streaked katana to my right shoulder, and write POOR IMPULSE CONTROL on my forehead. I get funny looks at work, but never have to call I.T.
Your Kung Fu is strong little one. A job in I.T. Support beckons to you with an open hand and a sticky joystick…
Ok, that sounds scarey. 🙂 (sticky joystick)
Thanks for adding me to your Friends list. 🙂
What’s most remarkable about this comment is it was made by the woman who later became my wife (even though at the time we lived 4000 miles apart).
She’s still my wife – in case anyone was wondering… 🙂
Personally I think computers are unreasonable and disobedient. I opt for percussive maintenance.
Ah, that’s where you’re going wrong – they respond best to a nice romantic candle-lit ambience and a couple of episodes of Heroes.