The mega blogging

Hello y’all.  I’ve been a *tad* busy and as a consequence not got around to blogging stuff.  Those of you similarly intravenously attached to the Internet as myself may well be a bit more up-to-date due to my henious addiction to my Twitter account and gross abuse of Twitpic.  Serves you right.  I bet you really did need to see my worrying obsession with taking pictures of my food didn’t you?

Ok.  Back in the real world – and I use that term with its loosest definition – things have been going on.  BIG things.  Well, big things for me anyway.  Here’s a brief(ish) round-up of the last few weeks.

Firstly I spent a couple of days busy being a proud step-father to my eldest step-daughter at her 21st birthday.  The DJ which she booked turned out, entirely by co-incidence, to be one of my best friends – the DJ with whom I spent the infamous weekend in Grantham.  It was a surreal night where I met half of the people I used to know when I was married to my step-daughter’s mother and have not seen for several years.  Much hugging and “you must come over” times.  I find it difficult as this is no longer my life, it belongs to someone else now.  My step-daughter seemed to enjoy it despite doing her best to drunkenly fall off the stage and nearly break her ankle which meant she spent the following day in hospital.

Last week saw the arrival of my decree nisi for the penultimate stage of my divorce from my second wife.  Several people said to me “ohhhh, it must be upsetting, I’m so sorry for you“.  Actually I didn’t find it at all upsetting.  I don’t consider my second marriage to have been a failure – far from it.  I think we were very happy for many years, brought up three good kids who make me proud in several different ways and the marriage only ended because my wife and I had changed as people which meant we no longer made sense as a couple.  It came to a natural end and I’m fine with that.  I wasn’t at the time – it sent me a little around the twist for a while – but, really, we got to the point that everything we both wanted and believed was quite different (and in some ways still is).  This is why I do not consider it a failure.

We were sensible enough to split up before it got to the “I hate you” “good I hate you too” stage and we’re mostly friends and have made our own lives in our own ways.  She is with someone else and they both seem very happy with each other – more on me later.

Today is the 18th birthday of my other step-daughter.  All three kids are very different from one another and, like anyone, each have their own characteristics that make them who they are.  Despite being the one for which it could be argued I have had the most parental influence she is the one with whom I seem to have the least successful personal relationship.  In short, I don’t think she really likes me all that much.  I don’t take it too personally; she’s not that keen on her own father and can sometimes have extremely strained interactions with her elder sister and mother too but I do feel a twinge of pain that somehow she should be the one who hugs me and smiles so we can say “I love you” instead of giving every indication that I irritate her.  For the small part I played in her life I’m glad of the young woman she has become – strong, very independent and resolutely self-believing.

Let’s see, anything else?  Oh yes.  I handed my notice in at work.


I can’t really blog about my current employer too much.  I have worked there on and off for 12 years.  I write all of the software for every single computer-linked product that we sell.  The owners of the company are personal friends of mine and I’ve seen the company turn-over grow from approximately 300k per year to just shy of 1.2 million.  In short, we’ve been successful.  However, I have always written software for a number of other software houses and one of the ones I also write all of the software products for made me an offer I couldn’t refuse – so I didn’t refuse it.  I start there on 1st September.  Curiously enough I used to live above their offices so it’s a bit bizarre to be turning up every day for work at your old home!  I could easily have stayed at my current employer indefinitely – no-one is indispensable but to be honest my position within the company was unassailable and about as “safe” as you can get.  But “safe” is not enough is it?  I’ll be in charge of all the development at the new place and working on a number of existing and new products and “we” (as I am learning to think of them) also have two new fledgling companies in some fairly exciting vertical markets.  Cool stuff for a programming whore like myself.

God, I sound like some kind of San Francisco Silicon Valley market-speak geek.  It must be the influence of the woman in my life.  🙂

Oh, did I not mention that?  WordPress’ worst-kept secret.  Surely you don’t *really* want to hear about three hour Skype conversations, smelly birthday presents, and being hopelessly in love and all that jazz?  In case you do I would have to write a whole new missive blog entry about her.  An extraordinarily special person with many unique qualities, way beyond anything you could ever want and totally over-reaching your expectations.  Everybody should have their own; you can’t have her though, she’s mine.

Funnily enough, I had actually written some of these thoughts down previously as a draft and when I came to write the post today I found it once more, mouldering in the dashboard.  Here’s some of what I wrote, I think it makes sense:

It’s nice to be in demand; even nicer to have a vocational occupation that people value at a sufficiently high financial level that leaves you to think “hmmm, the dress code is ‘smart casual’ there and they have a proper filter coffee machine” rather than “will I be able to pay my rent if I take this job“.  I know, I’m an ungrateful jammy bastard – sorry.  You know the defining moment at school?  The one where the teacher said “Jenkins, if you don’t concentrate in class and get good grades you’ll end your days penniless and unhappy” – they were right; no other way of dressing it up.  I left school at 16 due to a truly shitty childhood but I did manage to latch on to a skill that the rest of the planet doles out the cash for by the bucket-load.

Sadly it’s not poetry.  It would be cool if I was able to say it was but computer-programming is my stock-in-trade (it actually says “computer programmer” on my passport and even on my divorce papers).

I’d so much rather it was ‘poet’ or ‘humanist’ or , less plausibly, ‘decent geezer’.  ‘Poet’ would be first choice but on closer examination it would appear, based on the examples of Dylan Thomas and the like – poetical life expectancy is not great and life-satisfaction levels are also bordering on “sub-optimal”.

I’ve cheered up a bit since then!

I also spent last week looking after my sister’s dog, lots of time playing with Shozu and part of today saying a very loud rude word after I managed to electrocute myself with 240 volts delivered into my fingers at 6 amps.

Any questions?


29 thoughts on “The mega blogging

  1. [faux street accent = on]
    I is findin out de ard way that the landlord is a right plank and wired the bathroom light into a different Sir Kit.
    [faux street accent = off]

    Bizarrely I had successfully removed the old light fitting, all the screws and cowling and was left with just the bare wires poking through the ceiling – I only got a jolt because the earth wire was too short and I grabbed the cable to pull some extra through to make it safe. Ironic really. 🙂

  2. No questions, really. Just “thank you” for not putting yourself in the hospital. 🙂

    I admire your outlook on life. Really.

    In “Lisa’s World”, as my mother would say (only using her own name), there would be a living to be had as a poet and programming would be a hobby to do (if you had the time). You’re v good at both.


  3. So good things happening. It’s nice to know that you are so keen on becoming a part of your daughter’s life.
    I am handing my notice today too and will be joining the new company on more or less the same date – 1st Sep.
    Congratulations and all the best for your new job.

  4. Lisa, don’t forget, I’m NOT perfect although I am *always* right. [private joke].

    Violet: woo hoo, good luck with handing your notice in, it’s one of those weird happy/sad moments. I shall miss my current set of colleagues but it’s good to be in the notice period – knowing that you’ve only got a few short weeks left before escaping makes a crappy day at work far more entertaining! I never forget, no matter how horrible I think my working day is, that I am VERY lucky to have a job at all; some don’t have the luxury of having a bad day at work.

  5. I think you covered all the questions. Happy B to your daughter. Nice that you are there for her.
    And wooohoooo new job hey. Its gonna be great. I know you will miss your work colleagues but your gonna make new ones. You just never know what that may bring. A new adventure is waiting for you. Roll on two weeks. x

  6. It came to a natural end and I’m fine with that. I wasn’t at the time – it sent me a little around the twist for a while – but, really, we got to the point that everything we both wanted and believed was quite different (and in some ways still is).

    I admire you for this, just a lot. Maturity in buckets.

  7. Oh I wouldn’t admire me TOO much – I really am just a normal feckless waster like so many other people and, trust me, there are plenty of witnesses for the prosecution queuing up to testify that I am really not at all mature (except in the same way as a mouldy bit of cheese).

    It is true though, what I said – sometimes you just have to recognise that to go on would be a silly thing to do and that, to quote another blog title – things move around.


    Life…is not a rehearsal.

  8. There are few things more liberating than handing in notice. All pending projects, problems and assorted bullbleep evaporate in an instant.

    Four words . . . or does a hyphen reduce it to three?
    Pocket-sized voltage tester

  9. What is this obsession with food photos? When are we invited to sample some of your culinary delights?
    Good luck with the new job, will it be like pulling teeth? Am I asking too many questions? If so, why?

  10. lol. Yes, you’ve guessed correctly, exactly like pulling teeth**


    The food photos obsession is entirely the fault of a decent camera phone, Picasa, Twitpic and especially Shozu which makes it far too easy to upload stuff which the world doesn’t necessarily need to know.

    ** (for those that don’t know the new company sells software I write for dentists, plastic surgeons and opticians – MWM is a very clever person although I have a sneaking suspicion she has been speaking to her sister!)

  11. No. Me no speak to sister. I just really, really psychic, or a good guesser.
    Must speak to sister though, war has broken out in MK.

  12. The big Mon has openly voiced opinions about many things. This has caused the usually more reticent little J to open hostilities with a verbal salvo quite impressive in its magnitude. Big J is observing proceedings and if big Mon appears to be triumphalist will swat her with a tongue-lashing and epistle her into submission.

  13. Heh, and it’s not even Easter or anything!

    Same old same old then. 🙂 I neatly ducked under her moralising at C’s party – she seems to have a quite unfair and totally unjustified downer on the new Mr Little J. I tried my best to say to her that if I thought he was a decent bloke (which he is) and that he, J and I can get on then really she needs to bite her flappy great tongue and keep out of it. [I *may* have put it a bit more diplomatically than that].

    She seems to have a loud and disharmonious opinion on everything from child behaviour to “sticking with your husband through thick and thin” which is generally at odds with a) reality and b) the rest of the population!

    Ah well.

  14. It was her mouthy behaviour at ‘C’s’ party which precipitated the current hostilties. Apparently the ‘little soldier’s’ Mama was given a potted history of Little J’s relationships; Old Ted’s sexual proclivities, and Mr Little’s shortcomings! Good introduction to the menagerie,
    Mr Little’s cubs were also in the firing line.

  15. *arrives late but still makes an entrance* i’m v slack of late with WP sorry.

    re decree nisi: im obsessed with divorces at the moment and reading alot for my essay innit. apparently only half of all divorcing couples ever apply for their decree absolut and wander about in a kind of marraige limbo for ever more.

    statistically you are a regular divorcee. divorced people can get married again easily but are more likey to divorce again than first marraige couples.

    divorced people are also at a higher risk of ‘premature death, pneumonia (that must be just men surely), strokes, cancer and heart attacks and are likely to drink and smoke more than married and never marrieds.

    cheering stuff eh!!

  16. Ah Tan, it’s the little injected rays of sunshine you bring with these facts that make it all seem SO much better now 🙂

    Why ON EARTH would anyone go through the divorce, get the decree nisi and then NOT apply for the decree absolute? What a bizarre thing to do. A bit like flying away on holiday and then sitting in the arrivals lounge for the whole time…weird.

    My decree absolute is available for application from September 4th onwards – I’ll be applying on the 4th, because I’m like that!

    I don’t believe in the concept of premature death – to quote: “when your number’s up, your number’s up and no amount of bleating will stop the nature of your number being up”.

  17. I want to comment on several things that have made me consider life today, but I won’t (but this post has made me think .. about me, my life and what I want) .. really, I’m just de-lurking myself 😀

  18. Congrats on the new the job, the software world is a strange one. I used to write software for manual recipe systems (one specific example was egg mayonaise company in Barnsley) now I’m writing software for companies who manufacture with stone,wood or wire who use a certain CAD/CAM package.

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