Ooooh I’ve been bad

Oops. I’ve been working hard and this has swelled my bank balance to something quite sexy.

Naturally, this immediately means I have to spend loads of it….so I have been bad. Very baaaad.

Ah, I also seem to have made friends from the black parka-wearing homeless guy in the theatre district. I don’t know what his story is but he now says heloo to me and I give him the thumbs up and he smiles and does a thumbs up to me. I think I brighten his day. It makes me feel a little bit human every day. This Saturday I’m going to go and buy him some breakfast (he doesn’t know it yet) because I know he likes the pork sarnies from “Munchies” on the market because we sat next to each other last week (and I talked to him, which might be why he give me a hello and a thumbs up).

I have bought one of these:

Wammy pedal mmmmmm

Which will make my guitar (a fender copy by Beringer doncha know) go wheeeeee. Read all about it here.

I have headphones, but, to be frank, I might just turn it up to 11 and annoy the neighbours since they insist on playing their horrible Night Rider remix CDs over and over again REALLY loud. Also, after too many absinthes, I may come over all Jimmy Hendrix. Yip yip yip.

I also bought a ukelele (mine is yellow with pineapples on it). I still don’t think I’ve tuned it right. I was discussing the finer points of my-dog-has-fleas tuning with one of my underlings who is the lead singer in a local rock band when it suddenly occurred to me I’m turning into some kind of weirdo music freak. Thank God I didn’t mention the Bodhran and the congas I am planning to buy. I love percussion. It’s just so…well….I dunno…it’s cool.

I’ve had a really rubbish day at work. Not bad, I love my job, but just really really busy with loads of horrible problems to solve all day. So now I’m home with Judge Judy on in the background (Judge Judy rocks) and a very nice bottle of Sancerre resting in my belly. Yup.

Oh, and I spent yesterday at the zoo.

So, a video which features conga drums and ukelele and my favourite uke player in one is in order…(apologies for the screaming Americans…tut tut)

and if that’s not enough….go for the filthy ukelele….

Right now I am eating a plate of quail’s eggs, sun dried tomatoes, artichoke hearts, chortizo and chilli garlic from the snoggable garlic company.

Sadly, this is all true.

Really, do you want to be the one that has the best party of the year or the one that complains about the noise from the neighbours?

You need to know

  • Quod me nutrit me destruit
  • Elvis is dead – get over it.
  • Two marriages later and I still believe in love. I’m working on it.
  • Better to have a job you enjoy with people you like than have better pay whilst trapped in a crap hole with idiots. I realised this recently and made the switch; one of my better moves.
  • Once you start on your very first diet you’ll be on it for the rest of your life. It will never quite make you as happy as you thought it would.
  • God is a very cruel person. She particularly hates middle aged men. She makes the hair on their head fall out and reappear in places they don’t want it; ears, shoulders and back. Nobody needs hairy ears.
  • Girls: fart jokes are funny. Admittedly it does appear that one of the other key genetic differences between men and women is the ability to appreciate a good eggy one in person but then us blokes don’t get what all the fuss is about when it comes to “Sex in the City” so I guess it’s swings and roundabouts.
  • No Michael Barrymore, it is not awright at the back.
  • Red bull seems to help cure hangovers. I can’t guarantee that this will be true if the hangover was caused by too many vodka and red bulls the night before.

Rapper’s delight by the sugarhill gang is currently playing on my laptop as I type this – what a bloody good record it is. My colleague and I are working from my flat today as the electricity company have turned the power off to our offices for the day whilst they do some kind of major road digging up work outside. Music on full blast; one ex-DJ (me) and one current DJ (him) grooving to the music whilst remotely supporting our customers…sweet.

Ah yes

By the way – did I mention I wrote some lyrics recently and the band I wrote them for is off to record them for their next CD this week?

Nope, didn’t think so.

Oh, and I’ve had another poem published (under my secret pseudonym…shhhhhh).

I am in danger of becoming “cool”. Yay.