You need to know

• Quod me nutrit me destruit
• Elvis is dead – get over it.
• Two marriages later and I still believe in love. I’m working on it.
• Better to have a job you enjoy with people you like than have better pay whilst trapped in a crap hole with idiots. I realised this recently and made the switch; one of my better moves.
• Once you start on your very first diet you’ll be on it for the rest of your life. It will never quite make you as happy as you thought it would.
• God is a very cruel person. She particularly hates middle aged men. She makes the hair on their head fall out and reappear in places they don’t want it; ears, shoulders and back. Nobody needs hairy ears.
• Girls: fart jokes are funny. Admittedly it does appear that one of the other key genetic differences between men and women is the ability to appreciate a good eggy one in person but then us blokes don’t get what all the fuss is about when it comes to “Sex in the City” so I guess it’s swings and roundabouts.
• No Michael Barrymore, it is not awright at the back.
• Red bull seems to help cure hangovers. I can’t guarantee that this will be true if the hangover was caused by too many vodka and red bulls the night before.

Rapper’s delight by the sugarhill gang is currently playing on my laptop as I type this – what a bloody good record it is. My colleague and I are working from my flat today as the electricity company have turned the power off to our offices for the day whilst they do some kind of major road digging up work outside. Music on full blast; one ex-DJ (me) and one current DJ (him) grooving to the music whilst remotely supporting our customers…sweet.