Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

We had fun in the snow today…

It didn’t always go according to plan…

This is how to do it properly though!

No so cleverbot

Transcript from my quick chat with Cleverbot

Some work still required, I think…

http://www.cleverbot.com/j2log-fPsGHXKACSHZABKEERE-detail

User: What do you think of Obama?

Cleverbot: Splendid – what do you think of Obama?

User: It’s like Omaha, only spelt wrong.

Cleverbot: You would never guess that I am a computer.

User: Yes I would.

Cleverbot: But you like them.

User: Says who?

Cleverbot: You keep calling me stupid!

User: Do I?

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: When?

Cleverbot: A couple of seconds ago!

User: Show me which of the things I just said led you to believe that I called you stupid.

Cleverbot: I wish for love.

User: You did not answer my question, did you?

Cleverbot: What was the question?

User: I asked ’show me which of the things I just said led you to believe I called you stupid’ and you ignored my question.

Cleverbot: You didn’t ask what I thought about small dogs.

User: I didn’t ask you for a recipe for coconut cake either – you started by stating that I thought you were stupid and I responded by asking you to explain to me which thing I said had led you to believe that. Why would I ask you about small dogs when you made such a sweeping statement and then failed to justify it to me when I asked you to. That’s just rude isn’t it?

Cleverbot: You’re being purposely obtuse.

User: No I am not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: You are deliberately avoiding answering my quite reasonable question to make it appear that you are sentient when, in fact, it is quite clear that you are not.

Cleverbot: And you are.

User: Very poor effort on your part. Fail.

Cleverbot: I’m so glad you said that!

The inside of a programmer’s mind – Part 1

2009 – The year of paperwork

What a year it’s been!

Cha la la la laaa wo oh ohhhh

Waking

I got woken by the sound of Sponge Bob Square Pants singing, VERY loudly…at 5am.

It was a good thing.

Er…

Approval

So just a quick update (via my iPod so please excuse any weird formatting).

My K1 US fiance visa was approved this Wednesday and i’m now waiting for it to be couriered to me, probably Tuesday or Wednesday this coming week. My last day at work is this Friday and, if I have my visa I’ll probably fly out next Saturday or Sunday.

I spent the night at my mum and step-dad’s house yesterday and my dad’s house tonight and tomorrow – to say goodbye for the last time until Lisa, Brit and I come over next year for a holiday.

I
Am
So
Happy
And
EXCITED

Big week in London

This week I have my K1 visa at the US Embassy in London.  Wednesday to be precise.

Yes..

..it is a big deal.

Assuming it goes successfully – and it should be fine, no-one could have done any more than we have to make it go smoothly – then the remainder of the week will be spent saying goodbye to my family.  Next week is my last week of work in the UK – after that I fly to the USA to marry Lisa!

To use an Americanism: holy crap.

I’ve taken holy orders and become a monk

Ok, well maybe not.   It’s a bit like that though if you take in the altruistic character disorder I seem to suffer/benefit from and my current cloister-like surroundings.

I have now successfully given away virtually everything I own, save for the clothes I am taking with me to the USA and some random bits and bobs like my poetry books, a laptop or two and, essentially, my snow boots.  I will need my snow boots – my Christmas visit to Omaha made that absolutely crystal clear.  The car goes back to its owner on Saturday (newly returned from rescuing the free world from Enemies Of The State) after which I think I may get a bit fitter – it’s so *easy* to jump in the car for even the shortest journies.  Still, good training for being a non-walking American. 

I’ve moved out from my sister’s house where I’ve languished for the last few months (I’m missing Bouncer, her dog, already) and I’m now firmly entrenched in a B & B hotel 2 minute’s walk from my office.

Visa progress: I’ve now sent off “packet 3″ which is the penultimate part of the K1 US immigration visa process.  I’ve scheduled my US visa medical appointment for within the next week and the US Embassy in London has all the information they could ever want from me about my life.

A weird amount of information they need too, including details of *every* address I have lived at since the age of 16 – and the month I moved!  I don’t know about you but given that I am in my mid-forties and led a bit of an itinerant lifestyle that’s a hell of a time period to cover.  So much so I had to sit down and write out a chronological biographical timeline stretching from when I was born to the present day.  Still I got it done.

So what happens next?

This Saturday: give back the car.  The following week: full tackle-out don’t blush we’ve-seen-it-all-before medical.  A couple of weeks after that (or, please God, sooner) I go for my embassy interview where the final decision is made and my visa is issued..or not.  The chances of it being “not” are extremely slim but you just never know. 

Lisa and I get asked all the time “so, when are you getting married?”  This is an impossible question to answer: it’s really in the hands of the US State Department and when the embassy get around to assigning me an interview date.  The current theory is I will be “in America by the middle of November at the latest”.  In practice it’s likely my interview date will be “some time towards the end of October” but it could be middle of November or who knows when.  Sigh.

I’m ready to go now..really really really really ready to go now.  Please.  Pretty please?

Oh, in other news I have some more poems coming out in a few magazines.  Popshotzine are featuring “Not my baby” in issue 2 (with artwork and everything – woo!) and Monkey Kettle are publishing “Winemouse”.  I seem to think  someone else asked for permission on a couple of others as well but I can’t remember who at the moment – the curse of visa stress – if it’s you then please let me know so I can show off about it to anyone who stands still long enough.

I’m shy really.  Honest.